China Glaze Sandy Seahorse- Funfetti and Dried Toothpaste

Hey There Polished People!

How was everyone’s Valentine’s Day? Mine could have been better. Guess what I got? SICK! Boo hoo! I had a bit of a scratchy throat the day before but man, on Friday it just hit me hard. I must have went through 30 tissues, couldn’t breathe, sneezed Madeline awake every time she fell asleep in my arms, I just felt like a big ol bucket of snot. Lovely imagery, huh? Also, somehow I injured my shoulder and could barely move my right arm. What a mess!! Luckily today I’m finally starting to feel a little better. At least my nose is only 80% stuffed now, and my arm only hurts a little. YAY! I hope your day was better!! 🙂

Today I have the two China Glaze Sea Goddess polishes that looked most interesting to me. I chose Sand Dolla Make You Holla (which just pains me to say, I hate that name!!) and Teal The Tide Turns. I will show them to you and then tell you what I think.

Sand Dolla Make You Holla (with top coat)

First off, I was an idiot and didn’t realize these were textured when I bought them. Maybe the silver cap was supposed to be my clue but shouldn’t the front of the bottles say “textured” or something?? I mean I, as a nail blogger, should have known, but a regular consumer may not and would be in for a big surprise when they applied these to their nails. Anyway speaking of textured polish, I’m used to the Zoya-type “matte sparkle” texture, and didn’t really even enjoy their brief foray into the “foil sparkle” finish. This weird semi-shiny textured finish does nothing for me. SDMYH isn’t even textured so much as “not smooth” so I ended up top coating that one and actually quite like the funfetti-esque look, but the weird sandy texture pieces in it do nothing for me. I layered two coats of SDMYH over a white polish for these pictures. The application of this polish was no problem.

Yes, Please! or No, Thank You
Mehhhh. I wish it didn’t even masquerade as a textured polish, but it’s alright. Don’t expect anything fantastic though. I want a polish like this only regular- White jelly w tiny multi glitter. Anyone have a recommendation?

Teal The Tide Turns (no top coat)


TTTT was a whole ‘nother story. These pictures show 4 coats, no base nor top coat. The formula of this polish was HORRIFIC!!! Bald spots, super thin yet chunky, just atrocious. It’s like they took their crappiest teal jelly, threw a little glitter in there and some white sand and marketed it as this Sandy Seahorse Sea Goddess polish. (Points to Jessica for coming up w Sandy Seahorse, I thought that was hilarious when she said it.) You can see some of the white texture pieces around the edges of my nails. The Zoya and OPI and even Julie G Pixie Dust, Liquid Sand and Frosted Gumdrops, (respectively) polishes are COLORED textured bits in with a colored base. I’ve never seen a textured polish that expects the jelly base to cover gross little sandy bits and make it look like a pretty, sparkling textured polish. What the heck, China Glaze? What. The. Heck. Luckily the other polishes in this collection don’t look to be as appalling as these, but after trying these, I’d be a little cautious.

Yes, Please! or No, Thank You
Do you really have to ask? I’d rather have sand in my shorts for a week than wear this again. No, thank you. It looks like dried toothpaste. Anyone wanna prove they have completely lost their mind and trade this for a Salon Perfect Neon Collision Polish? Ha.

Am I the crazy one for not liking these? Did I just pick the two worst ones? Let me know what you think in the comments below. As always thank you all for commenting and till next time- Happy Polishing!!!


18 thoughts on “China Glaze Sandy Seahorse- Funfetti and Dried Toothpaste

    • They used to be my favorite brand. Excellent quality, good price, fun collections… But since sometime last year they just seem to be sucking it up. Bad formula, boring collections at best… I want my old China Glaze back. Even the New Bohemian (Fall 2012?) collection was less of a disappointment than some of the more recent ones.

  1. Well, I do think you picked the two most horrific ones in the bunch although the others look kinda disgusting the more swatches I see. It’s like trying to pick the prettiest scab. The only two I would possibly get are Seahorsin’ Around and Wish On A Starfish, but as I mentioned before, I’m kind of over this collection now. You know I acquire and get rid of like every single China Glaze collection…when are they going to make something I actually want to keep? This is making me sad.

  2. Nicole, you’re not the only one who is more than a little underwhelmed by CG recently. Seems like a lot of the trends (crackle, magnetix, texture) they follow along with heels dragging and only pull-off a flop each time. With some of their stuff I’ve wondered if they actually tested the polish before they sent it out to stores. Let us have a moment of silence for the once great China Glaze.

  3. Man, I hope you’re feeling better now! That sounds not at all fun. 😦
    Oooohhhh, dear. These were my two favorites, with the lavender being in third place. It’s not looking good, folks…it’s not looking good. Although, at least I learned one thing…I think I will put the three grittier ones over a base color. The metallic ones I have a little more hope for (maybe?).
    I should’ve just stuck with my Julie Gs…those are my favorite textures so far.
    The lighting situation in these photos looks good!

    • I have heard good things about the rest of the collection. I will not be buying any of the other polishes, but lots of people have said they’re better. I mostly don’t like how these appear kinda wet even when they’re dry. They have a slight sheen to them that is reminiscent of snot and I do not like it. I could deal w the crappy formula, just not how ugly they look. I really liked these colors so I’m sad that they are so terrible.

      Thanks for the comment about the lighting. I think I have it figured out as best I can. I use the lightbox and then edit the pictures to correct the white balance a little more, etc. I thought my pictures should just look right straight after taking them, but maybe that was a silly thought. Oh well, as long as they don’t look absolutely ridiculous I’m ok w that. I have decided it’s better to get a few posts out w pictures that are 80% the best I can do, than to wait till I can take them outside and make them 100% and never have a post! Plus, honestly my 100% isn’t that wonderful anyway so maybe w more practice I can keep improving upon my photography in a controlled environment. 🙂

  4. ..Ick, China Glaze has gone cray-cray. x_x I actually think that the first nail polish is VERY pretty, it reminds me of sparkle icing on a cake, yum. ❤ Seriously though, like… I can tell that it wouldn't be fun to apply, but with some patience/tolerance and a good topcoat, it looks gorgeous. 🙂

    As for the second nail polish.. I 110% agree with you saying it's like toothpaste. I would NEVER wear that nail polish, never ever!! Just.. yuck, what on Earth was China Glaze smoking when they came up with that nail polish, gee whiz.. At least having sand in your shorts wouldn't look so heinous. 😛

    • I don’t even know what’s up with them!! They used to be my favorite! They seriously must have hired a new person in their creative department because I can’t really even remember the last time I was excited about a collection. Maybe safari? Or cirque du soleil? Although some people HATED the Cirque du soleil polish formulas so maybe that was just me. I just don’t know.. But I want china glaze circa 2012 back!!! 😦

  5. Being creative is good, it can be very beneficial.. but really, it’s like they released that toothpaste polish without testing it at all. It literally looks like there’s some smudgy crap on your fingernails, NOT something I’d expect from China Glaze.

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